Try these three steps to control your reactions:
Step One: Notice your reactions and observe them objectively, as if you were a social scientist investigating your own behaviour: How am I feeling? Where in my body am I feeling it? Am I getting hot? Is my heart beating faster? What’s my breathing doing right now? This curiosity allows you to get to know yourself really well. It also mobilises your thoughts, breaking free from the emotional hijack.
Step Two: Identify which key driver (Safety, Security, Status) felt threatened. Once you identify which driver felt under attack, you can take the necessary steps to protect it. Remember, we alone can be responsible for meeting our own needs. If we look to others (people, organisations) then we hand over our power to them and become victims. You might not be able to do this in the heat of the moment, but you can certainly do it as you replay the ‘movie’ in your mind afterwards
Step Three: Commit to take care of your own needs, no matter what. So for example, if you identified that you felt out of control and unprepared (lack of safety) then you could decide to prepare more thoroughly before the next meeting so you are ready to deal with potential questions or challenges.